Friday, December 16, 2011

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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter



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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881



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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter
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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown


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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown
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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
    --------------
    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz




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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain
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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn



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