Friday, December 16, 2011

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik
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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)



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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith
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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett
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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities



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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold
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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane
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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith
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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown
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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968


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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth
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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990




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  • --------------
    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw
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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew
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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball
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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
    --------------
    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



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